If anyone needs me, I'll be reading missed connections on craigslist

Rejected: The Earle, Borders, ARS Advertising (never heard back from the last two)

I thought I might have a chance at The Earle. It's an upscale Mediterranean (French-Italian) restaurant that was an old favorite for special occasion dinners. I even went there for Senior Prom. Dinner was great, the rest of the night was pretty terrible. But that's a different story.

I hit it off with the chef in the interview. It turned out her kids went to the same small private middle school I did, played chess, we knew all the same people. We were soulmates, this chef and I. We talked about local schools and the college admissions process. We talked about a lot of stuff, but not so much about food. Halfway in I realized that was probably a bad sign.

A year or two ago I would have loved to cook at this place, but experience in the restaurant business and the passing of time have dampened my enthusiasm. I don't have the fire, as they say. (In California, interviewing for another restaurant job, the guy told me that rich kids often don't have the fire. "Fire," I said, "like, metaphorically?" And I laughed at him out loud. I got that job.) So an hour before the interview I was brainstorming strategies to seem more excited than I was. My waning interest in food was my dirty little secret.

Maybe it was hers too, because she wasn't turning the conversation back to cooking either. She told me to call back if I hadn't heard from her by a certain date. When the day passed, I knew my chances were bad. I called and she said she was still deciding. A few days later I had a message on my cellphone, better-qualified candidate, something something something. I happened to be drunk when I listened to the message and mashed 7 for erase before thinking better of it. I'm pretty sure she said I should let her know if I'm still interested, in case something else opens up.

In the end I wasn't surprised - I wasn't really qualified for the job in the first place. I suspect the main thing I accomplished in the interview was to make her feel guilty for rejecting me. I'll probably call back and ask her to keep me in mind, but I won't expect to hear from her again.